I can certainly understand why the situation with your girlfriend (let’s call her Adrian, a solid Philly name) and her family makes you feel tense and uncomfortable. And have you seen the length of some of my replies? It is much easier to answer detailed letters: less speculating, fewer alternate scenarios. Please don’t feel that you have to apologize for a long message. Thank you for reading this far! And thank you for your advice column, June! You as well, La Wally! My girlfriend and I have talked a lot about what to do before and we agreed to just keep it a secret, but this has been weighing on me so long now, especially when her mother calls me her “daughter’s friend” or says I’m “like her sister” (yikes) at times. I don’t know what to do in this situation, so just keeping quiet and feeling guilty has been my song. I know they don’t mean any harm, but it feels like they don’t see my relationship the way I see it, as something that can last long term. As in, they’re wrong.Īnother thing that bothers me is that, although my mother and brother know I’m in this relationship, they still make jokes about me one day having a husband and kids as if I’m still the “straight” girl they raised. Her mom has spoken before about loving others and not judging anyone, but I can’t help feeling that she’ll come to dislike me if she finds out I, a girl, have been with her daughter all these months without saying a word, not to mention my girlfriend’s mother’s husband has clear views about same-sex relationships. We were both brought up Christian, but my mom and brother are way more relaxed about things than I think her family is, as well as my extended family, but I’ll keep this within our physical household limits. The issue with all of this is that I’m also a girl.

Her mother has been nothing but kind to me, so I feel guilty for not telling her, as well as my other, extremely close friends. My mom and brother know I’m with her, as well as two of my best friends and a friend of hers. Our seven month-iversary (I believe it’s called?) just passed and I can’t stop thinking about her family. However, we still are keeping it a secret.

But after the rain came a rainbow so to speak and now we’ve been together since February.

I was so happy! We started dating, but it was off to a rocky start due to keeping it a secret from our friends and families. A few weeks later, I confronted her about how I still felt and she told me she wanted to be with me as well. Finally able to confess, I was relieved that she still wanted to be my friend, although I didn’t get a clear yes or no response to my confession. We started out as friends a few years back in high school and I began to develop feelings for her last year. I’ve been dating a girl I’ve come to love so much these past months.

Keep undercover meaning